The Harem Guidelines

Voting will be done by secret ballot. Mail votes directly to Kira.
The polls will be open for 4 or 5 days. A specific date will be set at the time of voting.
We will vote on new applicants once a month. If there aren't any new applicants, we'll wait until the next month. There is no limit on the number of new applicants to vote on. We don't want this to be a competition for a few openings in the Harem, that's not fair to the applicants.
Applicants must send in an "application" for us to read so we can make an informed decision. They should let us know who they are, some of their interests, why they want to be in the Harem, and how they heard about the Harem.
Applicants will be notified shortly after the polls close whether they have been accepted. The results may not be discussed with any applicant until they have been notified by the Admin.
The Founders have veto power over any applicant.
The Harem as a whole may decide to defer new applications for an indefinite period, to ensure that all the current Haremites, whether new or old, are comfortable with the Harem as a whole, rather than risk instability by brining in new members.

If we haven't heard a peep from a member for 6 weeks, we will email them and ask if they still wish to be on the mailing list/in the Harem. If there is no response after 2 weeks, they will be deemed inactive, and removed from the mailing list.
Members whose email starts to bounce will be removed from the mailing list and placed on the inactive page until such time as the problem has been resolved. Attempts will be made to contact these members to alert them to this fact, but obviously this is by no means a fail-safe action.
A separate page on the website exists for those Haremites who are inactive, and they will be moved from the active haremites page to here.
Those members who have asked to be left on the list for the holidays or other defined period of time while they are unable to read or reply to harem mail are exempt from this action. As the new terms begin (mid-August in the US, October in the UK), we will email a reminder to those Haremites who went off-list. They can then decide whether they wish to be put back on or whatever.
A Haremite is a Haremite (active or not) until she states otherwise or circumstances (breach of confidentiality, for example) require her removal.
We have a periodic update in our private section for those Haremites who are off-list, so they don't get too left out.

This applies to all personal posts; chain letters, jokes, stories, funnies and things forwarded from off the list are exempt.
If for some reason you wish to forward any portion of a personal post not written by you to someone not in the Harem, you must obtain permission from the writer of the post.
If someone not in the Harem asks you what is being discussed on the list, you can give them a general idea of the topic, but don't give details.
If anyone is found to be disregarding these terms, they will be removed from the list, and possibly the Harem. It is unfortunate that such measures would be required, but if we don't have assurance that what we write is only going to the women on this list, then there's no point in posting.

Regarding the sending out of funnies, spamming the list, and forwarding of messages.

Mass-Mailing The Harem
This has been covered in part by the Guidelines on Confidentiality, however to reiterate: when sending out mass-mails (ie mail to both the harem and anyone else), do not include the harem address except under a BCC (Blind carbon copy) field. If you do not have this facility, then send out the email twice.
Forwarding messages to The Harem.
Please be considerate and edit your email message to remove headers, irrelvant information, signature files, and anything else not pertinent to the reply. If the message is attached to the bottom of the email, don't just assume that is ok, but remove it if possible, or send a new mail (rather than replying) and merely give the general topic that you are replying to.
Forwarding funnies to The Harem.
Given that The Harem has been in existence for well over 2 years, many funnies have been sent out before (in some cases several times) and as such, although we wish to impose no formal limitation, please restrict yourself to no more than one or two per day. This also applies to other messages which are not funnies, but neither are they primarily Harem mail (eg erotica, book reviews, local events information, etc). Please remember that there is a CGI script to upload funnies onto the website if you wish to send many, and that Illiane maintains a funnies mailing list.
Forwarding Chain Mail to The Harem.
Other mails along the lines of the Good Times Virus, or Little Tommy is Dying of Cancer - Do not forward email which can not be (or has not been) verified (ie name, snail mail address, telephone number of originator.) Most of these chain mails are a hoax, however some few are real, and as such, validation is useful. Virus warnings again are often hoaxes.. Check up on your story before you mail The Harem. Any other Chain Mail is unnacceptable (except for content, when the chain-mail section should be removed). If you are worried about not passing it on, forward it to Rillaith and she will deal with it for you.
Sending files via attachment to The Harem.
Do not send files directly to The Harem, even if "they're only small". We have a file-download page for such files, so email the file to Rillaith with a brief description of the file, and it will be added to the page, and The Harem notified of its existence. Alternatively, use the form on the download page.
Forwarding messages FROM The Harem.
Again this has been covered under the Guidelines on Confidentiality, but to reiterate yet again: Do not forward to or otherwise tell someone, anything sent to The Harem without their express agreement. Funnies and similar are obviously exempt. Also do not bounce mails to the harem (funnies included) or forward without removing the headers, and as such without removing the harem's email address.
Spamming or Flaming The Harem or a particular Haremite.
Anyone deliberatly and vindictively spamming or flaming the entire Harem or a single Haremite will be considered a Haremite no longer. Behaviour of this nature is not tolerable among intelligent, thinking individuals who have to be able to trust each other.
Care and Consideration.
Obviously with such a large group, we will have many different email systems. Please bear in mind that some people have tight restrictions on amount of email they can receive, while others have to pay to download their email, others have to be able to find important emails amidst our spam, and so forth. When headers, repetitions and sigs are taken into account, 1 long multi-reply is much smaller than many little ones, and we are all guilty on that count.

© The Harem, 1996-99.
Page created 1997. Last updated: 21 September, 1998
Page created and site maintained by Rillaith, rillaith@harem.org.