- Voting will be done by secret ballot. Mail votes directly to
- The polls will be open for 4 or 5 days. A specific date will be set at
the time of voting.
- We will vote on new applicants once a month. If there aren't any new
applicants, we'll wait until the next month. There is no limit on the
number of new applicants to vote on. We don't want this to be a
competition for a few openings in the Harem, that's not fair to the
- Applicants must send in an "application" for us to read
so we can make an informed decision. They should let us know who they
are, some of their interests, why they want to be in the Harem, and
how they heard about the Harem.
- Applicants will be notified shortly after the polls close whether they
have been accepted. The results may not be discussed
with any applicant until they have been notified by the Admin.
- The Founders have veto power over
- The Harem as a whole may decide to defer new applications for an
indefinite period, to ensure that all the current Haremites,
whether new or old, are comfortable with the Harem as a whole,
rather than risk instability by brining in new members.
- If we haven't heard a peep from a member for 6 weeks, we will email them
and ask if they still wish to be on the mailing list/in the Harem. If
there is no response after 2 weeks, they will be deemed
inactive, and removed from the
- Members whose email starts to bounce will be removed from the mailing
list and placed on the inactive page until such time as the
problem has been resolved. Attempts will be made to contact these
members to alert them to this fact, but obviously this is by no
means a fail-safe action.
- A separate page on the website exists for those Haremites who are
inactive, and they will be moved
from the active haremites page to here.
- Those members who have asked to be left on the list for the holidays
or other defined period of time while they are unable to read or
reply to harem mail are exempt from this action.
As the new terms begin (mid-August in the US, October in the UK),
we will email a reminder to those Haremites who went off-list.
They can then decide whether they wish to be put back on or
- A Haremite is a Haremite (active or not) until she states otherwise or
circumstances (breach of confidentiality, for example) require her
- We have a periodic update in our
private section for those Haremites who are off-list, so they
don't get too left out.
- This applies to all personal posts; chain letters, jokes, stories,
funnies and things forwarded from off the list are exempt.
- If for some reason you wish to forward any portion of a
personal post not written by you to someone not in the Harem, you
must obtain permission from the writer of the post.
- If someone not in the Harem asks you what is being discussed on the
list, you can give them a general idea of the topic, but don't give
- If anyone is found to be disregarding these terms, they will be removed
from the list, and possibly the Harem. It is unfortunate that such
measures would be required, but if we don't have assurance that what
we write is only going to the women on this list,
then there's no point in posting.
Regarding the sending out of funnies, spamming the list, and
forwarding of messages.
- Mass-Mailing The Harem
This has been covered in part by the
Guidelines on Confidentiality,
however to reiterate: when sending out mass-mails (ie mail to both
the harem and anyone else), do not include the
harem address except under a BCC (Blind carbon copy) field. If you
do not have this facility, then send out the email twice.
- Forwarding messages to The Harem.
Please be considerate and edit your email message to remove
headers, irrelvant information, signature files, and anything else
not pertinent to the reply. If the message is
attached to the bottom of the email, don't just assume that is ok,
but remove it if possible, or send a new mail (rather than
replying) and merely give the general topic that you are replying
- Forwarding funnies to The Harem.
Given that The Harem has been in existence for well over 2 years,
many funnies have been sent out before (in some cases several
times) and as such, although we wish to impose no formal
limitation, please restrict yourself to no more than one or two
per day. This also applies to other messages which are not
funnies, but neither are they primarily Harem mail (eg erotica,
book reviews, local events information, etc). Please remember that
there is a CGI script to upload
funnies onto the website if you wish to send many, and that
Illiane maintains a
funnies mailing list.
- Forwarding Chain Mail to The Harem.
Other mails along the lines of the Good Times Virus, or Little
Tommy is Dying of Cancer - Do not forward email
which can not be (or has not been) verified (ie
name, snail mail address, telephone number of originator.) Most
of these chain mails are a hoax, however some few are real, and as
such, validation is useful. Virus warnings again are often
hoaxes.. Check up on your story before you mail
The Harem. Any other Chain Mail is unnacceptable (except for
content, when the chain-mail section should be removed). If you
are worried about not passing it on, forward it to
Rillaith and she
will deal with it for you.
- Sending files via attachment to The Harem.
Do not send files directly to The Harem, even if "they're only
small". We have a file-download page for such files, so email the
file to Rillaith
with a brief description of the file, and it will be added to the
page, and The Harem notified of its existence. Alternatively, use
the form on the download page.
- Forwarding messages FROM The Harem.
Again this has been covered under the
Guidelines on Confidentiality,
but to reiterate yet again: Do not forward to or otherwise tell
someone, anything sent to The Harem without their express
agreement. Funnies and similar are obviously exempt. Also do not
bounce mails to the harem (funnies included) or forward without
removing the headers, and as such without removing the harem's
- Spamming or Flaming The Harem or a particular Haremite.
Anyone deliberatly and vindictively spamming or flaming the entire
Harem or a single Haremite will be considered a Haremite no
longer. Behaviour of this nature is not
tolerable among intelligent, thinking individuals who have to be
able to trust each other.
- Care and Consideration.
Obviously with such a large group, we will have many different
email systems. Please bear in mind that some people have tight
restrictions on amount of email they can receive, while others
have to pay to download their email, others have to be able to
find important emails amidst our spam, and so forth. When headers,
repetitions and sigs are taken into account, 1 long multi-reply is
much smaller than many little ones, and we are
all guilty on that count.
© The Harem, 1996-99.
Page created 1997.
Last updated: 21 September, 1998
Page created and site maintained by Rillaith,